Personal
by Simultaneous Combustion
Summary: Ichigo reflects on his feelings for a certain someone in his life.  Sorry summary sucks D: it's better than suggested, promise!   One-sided!IchigoXGrimmjow


**A/N: It's been a while people! I'm sorry about the Shinkenger fics; ever since Goseiger took over I've been so scarred by the retardation of Super Sentai nothing much came out as I wrote the chapters (i.e. they are horrid). I'm in the process of writing the challenges and updates, so be a little patient please!**

**Anyway, this story is loosely based on my own feelings with regards to a friend of mine. It's largely personal, so most of the feelings here are pretty much genuine and real. Unrequited love, sigh.**

**I think this fic go nicely with **_**21 Guns**_** by Green Day featuring the Cast of American Idiot. Do listen to it (just Youtube 21 Guns Grammy) while reading the fic, then review! Love ya guys! ^^**

_Disclaimer: Bleach isn't mine. That's sad._

"Oi Ichigo!"

I turned around, allowing a rare and small smile to tug at my lips as the distinctive voice, which can only belong to one person, approached me with heavy footfalls and incessant panting, "You said you'd wait!"

The small smile that only he could see vanished the very instant he reached where I was, replaced with my usual scowl. It's not that he pissed me off – far from it in fact – I just didn't want anyone else to see this moment reserved specifically for him – the smile.

"Really? I'm sorry then," it wasn't an apology with much heart, but he had to make do with it. It was his fault he was late anyway! He huffed, evidently unhappy with the response, "Yeah I'm sure. Good thing you brought brownies today, or else you'd be dead. Let's go to the roof for lunch yeah?"

As usual, he never really waited, and just walked forward without listening to my protests…or lack thereof. I just quietly followed him, and the two of us lapsed into a comfortable silence and companionship as we escalated the stairs that led to the roof of our school. The door is usually locked, but apparently a few weeks ago, the cleaners had gone to clean the rooftop, and forgot to lock it. He had found it, and ever since then the two of us will have our lunch there.

The door swung upon with a creak, effectively breaking me out from my reverie. The two of us shuffled towards our favourite spot, a wall that faces the setting sun, while shading us from the afternoon heat. Pulling out our lunches – or at least, he pulled out OUR lunches, while I merely took out a box of home-made brownies – the comfortable silence only punctuated by the opening of the boxes and the occasional munching, lunch begin.

It was always a quiet affair, lunch. Nothing fantastical or out-of-the-ordinary happened, and by the time we were done, there was always time to spare. Neither of us was willing to break the silence that shrouds us, so we just sit there, staring into the sky in drowsy silence. Occasionally I find myself nodding off, but most of the time I find myself staring…staring at…well, him.

He would catch me staring, and raise an amused eyebrow, "What?" Heat rises to my face, and I turn away, shaking my head ever so slightly, while hoping desperately he never notices the slight blush I'm nurturing on my face.

Yeah, you heard right. Blush. Staring. It doesn't really take a genius to piece all the clues together and deduce that I have a crush on him…probably more than a crush.

Don't get me wrong. It's true; he has a great physique – much better than me anyway. His electric blue hair, styled to make it spike at certain edges, giving him a hint of a wild streak. His teal eyes that seem to go on forever when you stare into them, his well-defined face, and definitely his well maintained body. You don't really have to see it, you can pretty much tell from the way he fills his shirt out that his body is well maintained and chiseled. But I'm not really interested in that. To me, it was the emotional investment that drew me to him. How we clicked so easily – both of us were loners till we met each other, and even then it was quite a rocky start – and how I seem to feel his pain, his sadness, his anger.

I was forced out of my thoughts – I seem to be doing this quite often now – when a yawn decided to make its way out of my body. My eyelids drooped; it was not long before I will fall asleep. I shifted slightly closer to him, enjoying the body heat he radiates and silently reveling in the close contact that we share. As casually as possible, I laid my head in the crook of his shoulder, mumbling, "Sorry, I'm just damn tired."

A chuckle tingled my soul, "It's quite alright." A hand reached out to ruffle my orange hair. If I was any more awake, I'd be scowling at him, but as it is now, I just enjoyed the contact I had with him. Gradually, I fell into a comfortable slumber.

They say he doesn't swing that way and he hates anyone who does. I don't dare tell him how I feel, lest this relationship, which we share, falls apart. In truth, I don't really mind how we are now, given that I get to sleep on his shoulder and rely on him in my times of need.

But what I wouldn't give for him to just return these feelings. They suffocate me and make me feel tired sometimes, when I'm at home, alone on my bed. How I wish for someone to hug me close, and tell me that whatever demons I may face in my sleep are non-existent. How I wish…he could love me too.

A hand ever so gently nudged me, "Hey, it's time for class." I slowly got up, reluctant to leave that sanctuary I found in him.

He grinned, "Let's get going, sleepyhead," and took off first, probably to make sure that there are no teachers around to see us descending from the roof.

The small smile graced my lips again, and as I stalked after him slowly, the notion that he never would return my feelings slowly sank in. My steps slowed, and once again the heavy footfalls could be heard.

"Come ON Ichigo! Let's go!"

I'll always be his good friend, living in his shadow, never really being recognized as a person that he'll come to love and care for. A stray tear slowly made its way down my face, and his name escaped from my lips, almost inaudibly, as if it was the last breath I had before I left this world…

"Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, I love you."

**A/N: Ahh…that felt kinda good. The challenges and uh, updates for the other stories are coming right up. Look out for them! R&R and you'll get them even faster *****hint hint*****!**


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